Thursday, November 10, 2011

Cyber-you: on my nerves

Let's get one thing straight right now. I probably like you in real life. That being said, internet-you is driving me bonkers to the point where I often want to throw my laptop out our 4th floor window (a simple *headdesk* or *facepalm* not considered sufficient for your level of fail). Yes, you... oh, don't give me that innocent look. You know who you are.

Awareness Superhero: This is for my friend, Sally. So many women suffer from bunions, but they suffer in silence. Every year bunions destroy lives, and the worst part is, there is no cure! 99.999% of you won't re-post this because you are horrible people who obviously don't give a crap about bunion sufferers, but some of you will. Please re-post, because re-posting something will totally make a difference. I will be judging you on this.

Mr and Mrs LuvUBabe: Missing my hunny 2day while he's at work! I love you Mr LuvUBabe, you are the best and my life is so much better with u in it!!!! I want everyone on the internet to know how much I love you, and as soon as you get home we are going to go at it like rabbits, and I don't care who is traumatised by picturing it... they will know our true love for one another.

Pregnant TMI: This is a pic of me at 10 weeks, 11 weeks, 12 weeks... Ugh, I can't eat anything because I'm barfing all the time. Ew the barf smells gross and makes me want to barf more. Hey, we just did our scan so here are 15 pictures of a fetus in my ute. Uh oh, gotta go! I have to pee all the time! Lol!

The Activist: Now that the internet has been invented, there is no longer such thing as a secret ballot. I will be posting 8 articles a day on why my political views are better than yours. You're welcome in advance.

Cryptic Carl: Geez, when it rains, it pours. Worst day ever. p.s. If you ask me why, I won't tell you, because I am obviously using this to boost my self-esteem, and I will secretly delight in knowing how many internet friends 'care' about me, even though I have no intention of telling them via phone or face-to-face about my craptastic day.

Pretentious Expat: We are jetting off for our 3rd holiday this year! I love that Paris is so close! Brrr... winter back home sounds really cold. We are never moving back.

Yes, folks, I know you noticed that last one. I even hate internet-me sometimes. I should really work on not being so cyber-annoying. But I don't have the time right now because we have to plan our Christmas mini-break to York.

3 comments:

kq said...

I found this blog particularly funny since I am not on facebook. Unless of course you are poking fun at another social media outlet that I am not even aware of. Very possible. In any case, I must know - do people really say "in ute?"
Loving the daily blogs, by the way.

Cait said...

No no, it was definitely facbook. I do not twitter, though I'm told I should. Are people who use twitter called 'twits'? I don't really know if anyone actually says 'ute'. Like so many things on this blog, I made it up because I thought it sounded funny. Nor do I actually have any internet friends who TMI their pregnancies. But according to my research of funny internet things, lots of other people do, and I can see how it would get on one's nerves. Glad you like the daily blogs. I meant to send you an email telling you I was writing them, but alas, I now only have time for NaBlo.

Cait said...

*Edit - Facebook. Not Facbook.